a story with a happy ending.

There once was a couple named Ben and Lenae who were 6 months away from having their first baby boy born into this world. As Lenae's tummy got bigger by the week, they decided that it was of precious urgency to purchase a house. A growing family needs a house to fill, right? So they spent a little time house-hunting and found one that they liked in a nice, quiet neighborhood. It was older but seemed to have character, and poor, naive Ben and Lenae thought it wouldn't take much to make it like new.

They had a terrible ordeal with the air conditioner in the summer of 2008. And they hit some unexpected roadblocks while replacing the floor in the kitchen in January 2009. More than anything, though, their greatest shame in their humble home was their windows. Windows that looked like this:

And this:
And this:
But then, a blessing! This year, Ben and Lenae were able to have their scary, child-hazard windows replaced with beautiful new ones! No more drafts in the middle of winter! No more horrifying bills from Jefferson Energy Cooperation!
We'll pause for a moment while you finish jumping with celebratory glee. We know... it's exciting, isn't it?
Other than the high price tag (did you know that you can buy a small island in the Pacific Ocean for the same price as 17 windows?!), there was only one small blip on the radar on New Windows Day: One of the installation men came running breathlessly into the house, saying to Ben, "Um, sir?! A little kid upstairs is messing up the caulking!"
Sweet, obedient Eli had climbed up to one of those brand new windows and was having a blast smooshing his chubby fingers in the fresh lines of caulking. Lesson learned: It is not wise to leave Eli near new windows.

The End.