Zuzu's Petals*

We babysat for some friends tonight. Before they arrived with their three darling kiddos, I was bustling around in the kitchen preparing dinner. I stood at the counter and kneaded pizza dough, sighing when I accidentally knocked the flour bag and covered myself and the oven with white powder. My frustration flickered for only a second, and then I was quickly overwhelmed by the warm security of the moment: The house smelled like the dough I was readying, like mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce; A glance in the living room showed Noah in my husband's arms, head bobbing up occasionally and returning to rest against his papa's chest; I could hear Gabriel yelling at Eli to stop acting like King Kong and ruining the train tracks he was fastidiously laying out.

I am always surprised when I realize the encompassing contentment I get from the simplicity of my life. I merged onto the highway of adulthood going 20 miles over. I had lots of plans and frenetic dreams and I was the most shocked person on the road, so the speak, when I married and decided soon after that I wanted babies... Lots and lots of babies. And I wanted to stay home with them. (Wait... what? Stay home?) My heart screamed 'yes' every time I contemplated the option, but my brain promised me I'd be hysterically bored. I'd waste away in the center of the most enormous pile of soiled diapers you can imagine, and it would be for naught.

Yes, the monotony is there from time to time, but the fulfillment- oh, I hadn't fathomed how deep and enriching it would be. I didn't anticipate that my heart would swell so at the privilege to witness the smallest details of my life, that it would ring with confirmation at the opportunity to hone the most basic of skills that make a tidal wave of difference. How can I thank God enough that more nights than not, I sink into bed and hold hands with my husband and think, "Thank You, thank You, THANK YOU for this wonderful life"? It's been the best surprise and it will never get old.

*From the film "It's a Wonderful Life".