sweet dreams.

I love watching my kids sleep. It's one of my favorite things about being a mom. When my firstborn was still tiny, I'd sit cross-legged on the carpet by his crib, marveling at the little wonder dozing so perfectly in his miniature bed. I have dozens of pictures of both my boys sleeping. And every night before we go to bed ourselves, my husband and I do one last check on our bambinos.

After we brought Gabriel home from the hospital, he slept for the first few months in a Pack-N-Play in our bedroom. Call it new parent naivete, but we did not expect our newborn to be so, well, noisy. He wasn't a big crier; he grunted. Like a little pig. Ben and I would lay there, holding hands and muffling our laughs at the crazy noises coming from the baby boy across the room.

Both my sons grew a gradual attachment to their crib. Gabriel is now in a regular bed, but it's been sweet as Eli nears one to see how he's come to claim ownership of his own sleeping place. As he's gotten bigger over the past year, he's become less wary of that dreaded evening ritual when Mommy and Daddy over-excitedly exclaim that it's "Night Night Time!" He'll occasionally lean toward his crib completely voluntarily, snuggling under his blanket and staring at his singing Glo-worm.

My own bed is gloriously large. The hubster and I usually start out cuddling, but in truth we're lone-ranger sleepers. Our bed is gloriously large so that we can slumber in separate regions, sprawling however we wish without disturbing the other (except for when I steal all the blankets, which I do every night without fail.) The whole set-up is depressingly cold compared to the kids. Where's my Glo-worm that sings soothing lullabies? The cheerful animal print sheets?

The other night my bed-envy reached a fever pitch and while Ben was helping Gabriel brush his teeth, I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to climb into Eli's crib with him.

...But let's back up for a second. My kids have put that little crib through the ringer. Gabriel was so acrobatic in it that it frightened us into moving him into a regular bed (which he was ready for at the time.) Having a little brother has not dulled his draw to the crib which he considers a fun house. Several months ago, I emerged from a shower and was horrified to realize that he had managed to break into Eli's room (where the poor little one was taking a nap), climb into the crib with him, and shake the entire contraption so viciously that I thought there was an unheard of earthquake occurring right here in Georgia.

If I had ruminated all this prior to climbing in the other night, well, I wouldn't have. I also failed to factor in that I am four months pregnant. So while I swung my last leg in and Eli (who hadn't fallen asleep yet) smiled gleefully up at me, there was a crash. The corner that I was squatting in had come loose from its bolt and collapsed. Eli, in his corner, had heard only the noise and calmly popped his pacifier back in. My husband had charged in looking ready to kill some intruders but instead got that unfortunate expression on his face that said, "This is the love of my life. She is an adult woman, yet here I find her destroying our son's crib because of some bizarre notion that he, at a year old, is enjoying nightly sleep that is euphoric compared to hers."

In closing, once again- It is not a good idea to see just how comfortable that crib is. And if you're going to do it, have the toolbox ready for repairs and for crying out loud, don't do it while your spouse is at home.