I ran out this evening to do a lightning round of Christmas shopping. I can never go out without somehow ending up near or in the middle of bizarre behavior. Don't believe me? Proof:
1. There is a kiosk in the mall that is infamous for its, uh, very motivated (I mean, very annoying) salespeople. As I approached said kiosk, I saw that all its employees were already occupied with victims. I mean, customers. Mental fist-pump! I motored on by and congratulated myself for avoiding the vortex of shameless guilt that usually ends with one of them crying or me crying while I walk away loaded down with 100 bottles of lotion I don't want.
Unfortunately, my initial appraisal was incorrect. Just 10 feet past the Kiosk of Doom, I heard, "Miss? Miss?!" It was an agent of Doom! And she was RUNNING after me. Really. I walked faster.
"Miss! I have this for you!" she hollered, waving -you guessed it- lotion.
"Um, no thanks! I'm in a hurry!" I realized I was yelling too. And running too. Nice.
2. After successfully procuring a gift for my husband, I headed for the car. I had parked directly outside a large sports store on the bottom floor, and as I neared the exit, I spotted three young men looking perplexed at the entrance. See, this entrance is deceiving. The automatic doors give the appearance that it is both an entrance and an exit. It's not. One-way only. After the store opened, it took me weeks to realize that the true exit was around a nearby corner. Not confusing a bit.
The three young men seemed to be conversing in a foreign language. They kept withdrawing from the entrance, then approaching it again. Clearly, they wanted to leave and couldn't for the life of the them figure out why the doors wouldn't open. "Try 'Open Sesame!'" I offered. (Just kidding, I didn't really say that.) I wanted to help, but feared they didn't speak English. I guess I could have pointed at the exit, but what if they weren't actually puzzled over what I assumed? Perhaps they were demonstrating fencing technique and my fencing-ignorant mind couldn't see that.
So I exited. I strolled through the correct doors and stopped just outside them to look through the very entrance doors the maybe-fencers were vainly pushing on. They stopped pushing, probably because I had started giggling. You could see the light bulbs appear over their heads. I felt like a jerk, but I think I'll blame the sports store for its lame door setup. And the sports store security people who probably watch the dozen people a day who can't get out and laugh at them.
5 comments:
Those agents of doom tried to stop me the other day -- with two tiny children in tow -- to offer me a beautiful hair treatment. I was like, seriously? You think this preschooler and this toddler will WAIT patiently while you straighten my hair? It's all we can do to not run circles around the stores. Maybe it's different in Slovakia, or wherever.
So anyway, when I said no thanks, the guy started on MIA. "We make you pretty like princess, no?" Scandalously marketing to children. Pfft. He was definitely shut down on that one.
I *think* I was polite, though.
Yikes! You're really making me NOT miss the mall this year. Thanks!
As for the stuck foreigners and whether or not to say something, next time I don't think you should hesitate to speak up. I've been on the other side of many confusing situations like that here and I'm always SO grateful when people just smile at me and point me in the right direction. Even if they're trying to help me solve the wrong problem, it makes me SO HAPPY when people are nice to me and don't act like I'm an idiot just because I speak lousy Italian. I *completely* understand why you hesitated, but I think they would have been delighted with your help.
Those pushy kiosk people scare me! They make mall shopping soooo awkward!
I hate malls! The kiosks are a nightmare! I hate confusing exits too - they're just as bad as the confusing escalators that look like they make a giant X with one going up and the other going down, but somehow the way back up or down is never where it should be.
I can't STAND those kiosks. They are so obnoxious. One reason I do 90% of my shopping online!
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