-The Ross Family-Benjamin, Lenae, Gabriel, Eli, Noah & Quinn

Kelly over at My Happy Little Life recently wrote about Passion and Life's Calling. It made me think about how much my own life's passion(s) have evolved and changed over the years. I've always felt that I had a side of me that could just go wild and run away down a creative path and never come back. I've been journalling and scribbling down stories since I was a little girl; I really enjoyed going to art exhibits and making crafts; and even when I was young, it enthralled me to go beyond the simple surface of every day life into the deeper meaning behind why everything is the way it is. God's always been calling me, I suppose, drawing me to Him through a lot of different things -both large and small- that make the heart stop for a moment, make you smile.

In a bizarre twist, I also have a much colder side driven by pure ambition. In high school, I decided on one of the most difficult routes I could take and devoured the obstacles that stood between myself and the attainment of that goal. Well, until I burned out at 16. There are so many that have aspirations equally (or more) daunting than what I strived several years for, but they make it... I've had many opportunities to return the way I came, and small successes whispered to me that it could be done, no matter my past failures. Somehow though, I can never swallow that last hesitation and close the door behind me.

So I am here now, immersed in a life I've been told is mediocre. Mediocre? ...I wonder sometimes what a celebrity might think if she had dinner at my house: Would she wrinkle her nose distastefully at the discolored linoleum in my kitchen? Note the atrocious drywall job we botched in the dining room? Avoid the dust bunnies that forever collect in the corners and beneath furniture? Some might label my life mediocre, but I'm overwhelmed by too many moments on a daily basis to believe such a judgment. My heart breaks every single day, tenderly, fabulously, joyously. Much like my salvation, I feel undeserving of the love I get from the little ones busying themselves with toys at my feet. I am the recipient of countless, pure smiles and sticky, sincere embraces. I, who once tensed on seat's edge willing that I be the one lauded with verbal accolades, now revel in a toddler's silly, innocent voice summoning me from down the hallway- "Hey you!"

I'm sure my life's passions will continue growing and changing. We carefully plan and calculate the steps of our years, and yet I am still surprised at where we've arrived when the months draw to a close. For now, I am content to settle into the magnificent 'mediocrity' of the way I have chosen. I've found Him in it - I've found life in it!- and that is more than enough.