1,095 days.

our engagement picture ('05)

Tonight after dinner I went outside to put an envelope in the mailbox. As I was walking across the lawn, I glanced back at my toddler, standing with his little hands pressed against the glass, clad only in a diaper (hey, Georgia summers are hot, people!) And it was still warm while I pulled the flag up on the mailbox, the still evening air thick with Southern humidity. I took a deep breath of it and for some reason, the smell -the sensation- made me think of San Angelo, TX.

I'd never really experienced humidity until we got to Texas. We arrived there for the last bit of our Air Force training in July '05, and it was blisteringly hot. But we rolled into the oasis that is San Angelo with big smiles on our faces. We were newlyweds and everything was exciting, even small towns that ended up offering little in the entertainment department. To us, we had all we needed: a swimming pool in the apartment complex, a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant, and a person who could practically do no wrong to snuggle with at night.

We arrived in San Angelo during the last giddy stretch of our "honeymoon" as husband and wife. In the few months that we were there, the new car smell faded and the scent of reality wafted in. I think Ben and I knew each other very well when we got married, despite our brief courtship. When we got married, though, the realization came- This is the whole package, and it's for forever. The fact could be a grim one if you honed in on the way I never hang my towel up after I shower, or that Ben has the the worst short-term memory ever, or that we are incapable of getting anywhere on time... We made up for the shortcomings by basking in our last, (unbeknown to us) brief time as just, well, us. We went on hot chocolate runs and read books together and indulged in the heralded pastime of just-marrieds- we planned!

Those too, however, can go out the window. We threw ours out and embarked on a path that many have handed us the crazy card for. We got pregnant, just shy of 4 months of marriage. And so it was that we drove into San Angelo golden with a light Monterey tan, silly and light-hearted, and left a bit more sober, the rush of impending responsibility swirling over us like my morning sickness.

Today we were on our way to do errands and wondered aloud at what we were doing 3 years ago today at the time. It has only been 3 years, so we look about the same, but hopefully our eyes are a bit wiser. Gabriel started squawking in the backseat because he wanted out of the car, and resorted to pulling his sandals off and beating them on the door. And then Eli woke up in his own carseat and decided to get some crying on too. For a moment the scent of reality seemed overwhelming, but Ben and I smiled at each other and I thought to myself that we're still silly and light-hearted and gosh, I'm so grateful he's the man I get to hold hands with in the midst of all this blessed pandemonium. Sometimes I remember to hang my towel up, he carries around a notepad, and the cute little guys in the bedrooms across the hall from ours will probably deter us from arriving on time for the next 10 years. But it's a good life, this one we're sharing, so bring on another year... I can't wait :)